Adam’s 12 Days of Last-Minute Shopping

Adam from myFM in the Morning, a notorious last-minute Christmas shopper, shares his “12 Days of Last Minute Shopping”:

On the 12th day of last-minute shopping my true love gave to me…

12 jugs of washer fluid
11 Mr. Bigs
10 packs of gum
9 pepperettes
8 Auto Traders
7 pickled eggs
6 bags of chips
5 pine-scented air fresheners
4 scratch tickets
3 french onion dips
2 bags of milk
And Canadian Tire Money!

Celebrity Christmas Cards 2015

Dear Big Bang Theory fans, it was WAY better than I imagined.

-Yours, Sheldon.

 

Hello, struggling record industry. It’s me. You’re welcome.

-Adele.

 

Dear Justin Bieber, Merry Christmas and all the best, but there’s only One Direction I’m heading in the New Year.

-Yours (once), Selena.
Dear kids in the greater Boston area, when someone tells you ‘cheaters never prosper’…remind them who won the Superbowl this year.

-Signed, Tom Brady.

 

Dear J.J. Abrams, DON’T MESS THIS UP.

-George Lucas

 

Dear Muppets, don’t ever leave us again. Like, ever. Happy Holidays!

-Our childhood

 

Dear Marcus, can Winston please have his banjo back? Merry Christmas.

-The rest of Mumford & Sons

 
Dear America, or how ever many of you are still paying attention to me. Merry Christmas! Unless you don’t support me for president in 2016. Then we’re kicking you out (or building a wall to keep you out).

-Donald Trump

 
Dear world. There is no Christmas this year. I am bigger than Christmas. Here’s a Kanye Cane and we all say Merry West-mas to you.

–Kanye West

Dear fans. I’m sorry. I can’t express how sorry I am. I don’t know what for, but my agent and marketing team said if I look really sad, write songs about being sorry, you’ll give me another chance. I’m so sorry.

–Justin Bieber

 

 

Dear Mr. Harper, hope things are going well with your new job. I meant to send one of our family’s famous Christmas chocolate buches, but…it’s just not ready yet.

-Sincerely, Justin Trudeau

Rules of re-gifting

  1. The item must be brand-new. Not last year’s brand-new, this year’s brand-new. It should be unopened, never played with, never worn, washed or tried out. It should be in its original undamaged packaging.
  2. Be sure the person who gave you the gift doesn’t know (or know of) the person receiving the gift.
  3. Never re-gift something you’ve had in your closet for a few years or lying in the basement unused.
  4. The re-gift should not be something horrible you’re re-gifting just to get rid of it, or to avoid spending money on the receiver.
  5. Never re-gift items someone has hand-made for you.
  6. Take the time to re-wrap the gift and attach new bows or ribbons.

Comparing the cost of all 12 Days of Christmas gifts: Traditional vs. Canadian

Every year, the group PNC Wealth Management releases their Christmas Price Index of all the gifts in the “12 Days of Christmas.” In 2015, the set of gifts spelled out in the final verse of the song would cost $34,131, or 0.6 percent more than the adjusted 2014 price of $33,933. ($155,407.18 if you purchased all the items each time they are mentioned in the song).

Highlights:

9 of the 12 gifts listed in the carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas” stayed the same price as last year

The partridge in a pear tree rose 3.5 percent overall, mostly because partridges now cost $25 each, up from $20, because partridges are increasingly popular as gourmet food.

Pear trees inched up from $188 to just under $190.

Turtle doves increased 11.5 percent, from $260 to $290, mostly due to increased grain prices that pushed up feed costs.

The lords a-leaping are more expensive because labor costs increased their price from $5,348 to $5,509.

So, for comparison, we calculated the totals costs of Bob & Doug Mackenzie’s CANADIAN “12 Day of Christmas” and came up with:

A Beer: Molson Canadian (because there are cases of Canadian on the set of the original show) $2.45

Two Turtle Necks: $39.98

Three French Toasts: $9.00 (based on my greasy spoon down the road, includes coffee)

Four Pounds of Back Bacon: $28.98 (I had to do math on this one!)

Five Golden Touques: $185.25 (Hand knit gold coloured toques from Etsy)

Six packs of 24’s: $227.70

Seven packs of smokes: $78.75

Eight Comic books: $31.92

Twelve: A dozen donuts. $7.49 (Tim Hortons)

Total with the donuts: $611.52 (BEFORE TAX) 

Without the donuts, because they argue at the end about adding them: $604.03