Listener submissions: Homework excuses: 1970 vs. 2015

1970: I ran out of lined paper
2015: I ran out of data on my tablet

1970: I forgot my textbook at school
2015: I forgot the password to get into the online tutorial

1970: My parents were watching both of our TV channels at once and they needed me to get up and switch the knob and I didn’t have time for homework.
2015: I was clearing room off of my PVR to record all of my favourite shows so I don’t miss anything.

1970: The car broke down on the way to the library to sign out an encyclopedia
2015: It wasn’t on Wikipedia

1970: I forgot my assignment on the kitchen table
2015: I did the assignment on my dad’s laptop but forgot to put it on a USB

1970: I couldn’t miss the “Who Shot JR?” episode of Dallas or else I might not ever see it again.
2015: I had to watch 13 straight episodes of season 3 of Orange is the New Black cause the memory on the PVR was getting full and mom was gonna delete them all to she could record all 13 season premieres on TV at the same time last night

1970: My dog ate it
2015: Because our paper is now made with 100% recycled organic hemp and flax, my dad ate it.

Fantastic Yogi Berra quotes

It ain’t over till it’s over
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
You can observe a lot by just watching.
It’s like déjà vu all over again.
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
We made too many wrong mistakes.
Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.
“I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”
“Never answer an anonymous letter.”
“The future ain’t what it used to be.”
“It gets late early out here.”
“Pair up in threes.”
“Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”

Anniversary gifts: traditional vs. modern

Laura & Hubby celebrate their 10th Anniversary today!

Laura is also celebrating the upgrade from tin/aluminum…

Anniversary Traditional Modern
1st Paper Clocks
2nd Cotton China
3rd Leather Crystal/Glass
4th Fruit/Flowers Appliances
5th Wood Silverware
6th Candy/Iron Wood
7th Wool/Copper Desk Sets
8th Pottery/Bronze Linens/Lace
9th Willow/Pottery Leather
10th Tin/Aluminum Diamond Jewelry
11th Steel Fashion Jewelry
12th Silk/Linen Pearls
13th Lace Textile Furs
14th Animals* Gold Jewelry
15th Crystal Watches
20th China Platinum
25th Silver Silver
30th Pearl Diamond
35th Coral Jade
40th Ruby Ruby
45th Sapphire Sapphire
50th Gold Gold
60th Diamond Diamond

* Historically, the traditional 14th anniversary gift was ivory, but endangered elephant populations make this an unethical choice.

Questions for kids that get a better answer than “Fine…nothing”

Try asking THESE instead:

* What did you eat for lunch?
* Did you catch anyone picking their nose?
* What games did you play at recess?
* What was the funniest thing that happened today?
* Did anyone do anything super nice for you?
* What was the nicest thing you did for someone else?
* Who made you smile today?
* Which one of your teachers would survive a zombie apocalypse? Why?
* What new fact did you learn today?
* Who brought the best food in their lunch today? What was it?
* What challenged you today?
* If school were a ride at the fair, which ride would it be? Why?
* What would you rate your day on a scale of 1 to 10? Why?
* If one of your classmates could be the teacher for the day who would you want it to be? Why?
* If you had the chance to be the teacher tomorrow, what would you teach the class?
* Did anyone push your buttons today?
* Who do you want to make friends with but haven’t yet? Why not?
* What is your teacher’s most important rule?
* What is the most popular thing to do at recess?
* Does your teacher remind you of anyone else you know? How?
* Tell me something you learned about a friend today.
* If aliens came to school and beamed up 3 kids, who do you wish they would take? Why?
* What is one thing you did today that was helpful?
* When did you feel most proud of yourself today?
* What rule was the hardest to follow today?
* What is one thing you hope to learn before the school year is over?
* Which person in your class is your exact opposite?
* Which area of your school is the most fun?
* Which playground skill do you plan to master this year?
* Does anyone in your class have a hard time following the rules?

How do YOU avoid “Fine…nothing”…?